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Aaah, here it comes. We know the sensations well: the taste of snow on the air, the heady last-day-of-term atmosphere, the reverential adoration of the baby Jesus, the fevered, sweating last minute shopping of the panicked parent. Rejoice! Christmas is here! And we’ve got an awful lot of work to do...

Yes, of course, I’m talking about the any-day-now arrival of old Saint Nick himself. How could any respecting shopfloor-bound scribe ignore the fact that the turkeys have all been plucked and retail’s favourite religious holiday has rolled around once more? Like a Roman legion braced for an assault by a bunch of crazed barbarians armed only with credit cards and confusion, this is when we really earn our stripes as salesmen.

No matter how eagerly we might eye up the coming carnival of consumerism, we must never take it for granted that Christmas can redeem us all and save an average (or just plain bad) year. If anything, it’s now that the real work starts. We all know that every customer coming into the shop at this time of year either wants something for themselves or their loved ones. That means that as salesmen we must raise our game to superhuman levels, up-sell like maniacs and be able to take even the most clueless and befuddled parent by the hand and guide them towards musical nirvana, no matter how busy the floor might be. It’s a crazy time of year, and we must be on our toes more than ever, ready for any eventuality and able to cope with the most ridiculous questions, no matter how flustered and overworked we might find ourselves.

Of course a lot of the success of any retail outfit during the holiday season comes down to teamwork. Like a well oiled machine composed entirely of work-shy musos, it is now that the great God of Work cashes in all those hours we spent noodling away while the shop was empty and makes us work for our wages. But believe it or not, it’ll be worth it – in sheer satisfaction of a busy shop well run, the joy of a bulging till and killer sales sheets, and, of course, the thought of all those happy faces on Christmas morning.

For the real proof in the customer service pudding though, we must look to the post-turkey comedown; how many guitars will come back to your store? One or two? Or tens? Decent pre-sales set-ups are just as important as after-sales service, and a bit of time taking care of the mountains of new instruments that are currently flooding stock rooms across the land could save an awful lot of time (not to mention reputations) once all the crackers have been cracked.

Good luck, friends. See you on the other side...